My mom seldom, if ever, pushes me, but frequently devotes herself to different careers.
She once told me that she was not ambitious for me, but I should be able to afford the social security. Admittedly, I was not on the same page with my mom when referring to social security as an indispensable part of our lives. She may never, to my knowledge, considered what it exactly was as well. I eventually managed to steer our conversation away from if I could survive on no money by saying that ” Mom, you are my life insurance. ”
Afterwards, I found that I spoke it up not from my mind but heart. I did feel safe staying with my mom, for she never slapped me as my father once did when I failed the texts, and she was never over scrupulous about my life as my stepfather has been, making me feel no obligation to be outstanding. She is absolutely assertive to set rules at home and work, actively to be a leader and still feels comfortable when there are no followers. Like mother, like daughter, I was born to be a leader, and need to lead myself to become a follower of my mom when the situation calls for it.
Basically, how others see me is the least of my worries, but I would not disregard my mom’s anxieties for the same issues, which are not annoying but endearing, troublesome to deal with but highly productive for both of us to experience together. Consequently, we may better understand each other and feel more qualified to be daughter and mother.
” I never expect you to support me in my later years, but I would bask in the reflected glory of your success in any fields. ” Mom once said to me. ” Like succeeding in refraining myself from arguing against you? ” I mumbled. ” Well, it was great to hear, but might be the last thing you were able to truly achieve.” Mom responded. At this point, I could not agree more.
Listing the methods we ever used to solve the problems, complaining, negotiating, even meditating, we found none of them is truly effective. Considering that the extent to which our relationship has changed over the last 20 years, little or not at all, quarreling when being together and missing each other when being far away. As time goes on, I realized that there are in fact no problems between us, and we merely happen to be in front of the each other’s unproper expression of love.
I appreciate having the privilege of being the one my mom would flare at once in a while. It never means a war but indicates a more peaceful connection and affection we have ever had, which has been declared since I was conceived.