Absence makes the heart grow fonder. This may sound a conditional affection, but It rings true to the relationship between my Mom and I.
Both of us have a strong self-awareness yet possess quite different personalities. Mom never stops trying to provide an example to follow while I always attempt to affect the way mom behaves or thinks. We are both influential figures in our respective social networks. However, we seldom lead a life that is different due to each other’s particular preferences, requirements, or even complaints. But it does not mean I have been completely immune to Mom’s emotional issues and her passions – these can run high if I react against her even if I am not deliberately doing the opposite of what she wants me to do.
For example, Mom thinks I take all of my friends for granted. This is because I rarely, if ever, contact them and even do not respond to the messages and letters I receive on special festivals. She also says that I am too outspoken in front my bosom buddies and that I leave without acknowledging their help. From my Mom’s point of view, my attitude to ordinary and close friends respectively is one of unconcern and offense .”People are not always what they seem to be and why do I need to be obligated to specifically react to their ever-changing minds and feelings?” I once replied to mom’s criticism. “Do not judge others: analyze what has gone wrong with yourself” Mom schools me again. “Dear mom, unfortunately, there is nothing wrong with my life, but one of the best blessings I have attained so far is that I am your daughter: this will not change in this life no matter how many changeable moods and situations we experience or regardless of the many times I have not replied to you”. Mom shot me a sideways glance with her mouth slightly up, which finally brought a sweet end to our dispute.
I have not seen my mom for a few months due to my trips and a Zen course. More or less, I have gradually realized the meaning of ” the opposite attract” and that absence makes us soften towards each other. Albeit we continue to argue and toss about our respective lifestyles. It never means a war. Instead we begin to lead a well-argued life together.